I’ve been married 10 years. I’m starting to realize that the longer I’m married, the less I know about marriage. I thought I would arrive at year 10 all knowing, wise, and coast the rest of the way.
But the longer we are here, the more we know each other, the less I have it all figured out. I think this is the way it’s supposed to be.
Most recently, I’ve realized I had never thought about what this means (below). I’ve thrown it around, heard it more times than I can count, but didn’t really know what it meant.
Matthew 19:5 English Standard Version (ESV)
5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
I mean, I think a lot of us, that spent any time in the Christian church environment as teens or college students, assume this verse is about getting married and finally doing the birthday suit tango guilt-free. And I thought so, too. And it is, in part.
Then I thought it was about being a team. And it is. Then it was about being a team of parents. A family team. The home team. A financial team. Domestically a team.
But that’s still not it. These are part of it. But not fully IT.
When we hear about “two becoming one”, I’m realizing the mystery of it. After a decade, I’m only getting a glimpse. Our fallible minds, bodies, and lives can only connect so much. We have only so much to give. Especially after jobs, bills, friends, commitments, etc.
And then it happens. And I get a glimpse of what it might mean.
It’s about becoming a team, spiritually.
What does this even mean? How does this happen? This is the mystery.
My husband and I are so different. Our personalities. Our politics. Our Netflix channels. We are so different. And yet, somehow, we are slowly becoming one.
No, we are not the same. If anything, we are getting more and more different.
But we each choose steps to take: praying together, talking instead of watching tv, sitting quietly until someone has something to say. These are the small things that pile up and build big things.
But still, I have no idea how this works.