What it’s like to be a Hotelwife

Hey, being a hotelwife is a lot harder than it sounds. I’ve been one twice. Both at five star establishments, but still. Our longest stint was 70 days living in 2 hotel rooms connected by a door.

drying This was our balcony with a full drying rack.

Hotelwives worry about all the same things that regular housewives concern themselves with. Here is a list of random activities/concerns/thoughts I went through in a day:

  • We must make it to breakfast! It is our only free meal of the day, and it ends soon. move, move, move!
  • When can housekeeping come by? With nap schedules, and the Ramadan schedule of things, there is a very narrow window between meals and naps when we call the front desk, leave the room and just walk around the hotel while they “make up” our room, i.e. clean towels and take out the trash.
  • Housekeeping is going to hate us with the extreme amount of dirty diapers and dirty towels we produce daily. Never mind the billions of tiny pieces of paper the toddler keeps cutting up and meticulously covering the floor with.
  • You can make pretty good Ramen noodles (cheese flavor) in an ice bucket, stirring with the tongs.
  • When the empty mini fridge you are using as a fridge locks itself and holds all your food hostage, do not delay in calling the desk. It may take them 2 nap cycles before they decide to just disassemble the lock.
  • Nutella and Peanut butter are great together, on crackers or even pita.
  • Ugh, we really need to do another bathtub full of laundry.
  • Dismantled the phone in the bathroom to keep it from waking us up when the front desk calls with a random question about the fridge at 1 am.

Often, expat families endure the privileged of hotel living on the front or back end of their life in another country. Here are some handy how-to’s to make it easier on you if you are doing it with a family:

  1. At check-in, ask them to empty your mini-bar. You will want that for a fridge.
  2. Unplug all the telephones you aren’t using. Our toddlers always found it much too amusing to play with the phones and place accidental and expensive calls.
  3. Tip your housekeeping and valet the very first day. Ask their names. Get to know them. Then tip them accordingly at the very end of your stay. These people will be your neighbors/family during your stay.
  4. Figure out the automated lighting / key card / accent lighting situation. In one room, we had overhead lights that turned on at exactly 12:15AM EVERY NIGHT. It took us a few days to remember it had happened and also remember to call the front desk. Then, it took them almost a WEEK to completely fix it. Oh, how I wished I had just called that first night.

4 thoughts on “What it’s like to be a Hotelwife

  1. Ah! The bidet!
    Which, interestingly enough, is used for a variety of purposes. I’m sure some people use it for it’s classic purpose, which I won’t go in to here, but it is also used as a footbath. And understandably so! (Thank your lucky stars for grass, Americans.)
    I’ve also heard of it being used as a baby bath and for nearly anything else that an extra basin could be helpful for. Soaking stained laundry without occupying the sink perhaps?

    Like

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